


Things Remembered

by shakespeareandsunshine



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Featuring SkinnySteve!, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and lots of feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-25 14:29:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10766145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shakespeareandsunshine/pseuds/shakespeareandsunshine
Summary: Steve remembers lots of things. These are just a few of them.(Or, 5 things Steve remembers + 1 he doesn't)





	Things Remembered

**Author's Note:**

> My first ever work for this fandom, and an old one at that. But I found it sitting on my computer and figured it was worth posting anyway. You can pretend it's canon compliant if you want :)

Steve remembers the bullying, not that it ever happened more than once. They thought he’d be an easy target – scrawny, asthmatic, too little to fight back. They hadn’t counted on Bucky coming to his rescue though, fists flying in righteous fury. The bullies never made that mistake twice. Most people didn’t. One warning look was more than enough to remind potential troublemakers of the world of hurt Bucky could and would unleash.

Years later, when Steve is no longer scrawny or asthmatic, when he’s finally big enough to beat Bucky in his first-ever brawl, Bucky just laughs, cocky and self-assured. “You may be all tough now, Rogers, but remember, I was the one who taught you how to fight.”

 _No_ , Steve thinks, smiling a little but keeping his peace. _I always knew how to fight, Buck. You were the one that taught me how to be brave_.

***

Steve remembers Bucky’s smiles, all five of them.

The first is the cocky smirk that looks obnoxiously at home on Bucky’s face, in a way it never would on Steve’s.

The second one is the suave little grin that comes out at bars or parties or whenever there’s a pretty girl nearby, really. Steve tries to ignore this smile as much as possible, but there’s no ignoring the way it makes his breath catch and his face grow hot _every damn time_.

The third smile is one that Steve is pretty sure that Bucky has no idea he uses. It’s one of Bucky’s only tells, a mischievous little smirk that tugs at the corner of his mouth right before he does something absolutely _wicked_ , like starting a bar fight, or stealing a helicopter, or leaving a biting trail of bruises up Steve’s thigh that he is sure to feel all through training the next day.

The fourth smile is Bucky’s best. It’s wide and bright and bleeds sincerity. It usually makes an appearance at weddings or birthdays or long nights nursing beers and playing poker with the other Commandos. It makes him look young, carefree, happy. Steve wishes he’d use it more often.

The last one though is Steve’s favorite. It’s small and soft and all but screams _Steve-you-little-shit_. Steve doesn’t mind. Bucky’s always been bad at _I love yous_.

Steve remembers all of Bucky’s smiles. He only wishes he could forget.

***

Steve remembers being in the ice. Some nights (the bad ones, ones when he physically aches with loneliness, with missing Peggy and the Commandos and _Bucky_ ) he lies in bed with the AC turned up as high as it will go, and he remembers. He remembers the burning cold fading into icy numbness before slowly melting into a hazy warmth that crept through his limbs as sweetly and softly as falling asleep. It was at this point, he remembers, when the leaden feeling in his core began to creep into his fingers and toes, that he finally let go of the panic that was bubbling just under the surface.

 _It’s okay_ , Steve remembers thinking, eyes fluttering closed. _Bucky will come for me_. He may no longer have had a shield or a plane or single means of communication, but Steve knew, had always known, that even when he had nothing he had Bucky.

It’s only upon waking, in a bed, in a room, in a world that’s all wrong, that Steve remembers that this is no longer the case.

***

Steve remembers his first fight after his transformation. He remembers feeling untouchable, unbreakable, invincible, and wondering if it were true. The feeling never goes away. Steve doesn’t enjoy it nearly as much anymore.

***

Steve can’t remember the last time he smiled. If he had to guess, he would say it must’ve been before Bucky---. Before. But now, looking over the reports of a Winter Soldier sighting somewhere in Liberia, looking at the reports that say that Bucky is alive, is within reach, Steve feels himself start to grin. It’s not much to go on, but it’s a start. 


End file.
